Oh dear

     Tonight, Mr Earrings and I will be driving up to my apartment in the Valley with the sole goal of getting absolutely trashed as we watch the ball drop. Honestly, I'm not incredibly fond of being drunk (I drink socially with my family, but that's the extent of that, really), but as I'd much rather be spending my New Years Eve sharing a midnight kiss with The Fiancée, at least this is a way to spend my evening that won't result in me being lonely and miserable.

     The one hang up I encountered is that Mr Earrings decided to invite his current... well, I would call him boytoy, but that would be inaccurate. While my dear friend is only 20, his current thing of interest is (wait for it!) 48 years of age. I won't lie: the fact that my good friend is interested in someone older than his parents goes towards the squick level for me. Not only is nearly a 30 year age difference a bit much in my opinion, but I have to wonder what's going on in a nearly 50-year-old man's head that he thinks trying to hook up with someone only 6 years older than his own son is a wise plan of actions. Not to mention, the old man and Mr Earrings have yet to meet and Mr Earrings can't even get his paramour's phone number (they met on Grindr and the old perv refuses to give out his number; can we agree that this is incredibly sketch?). Needless to say, I rescinded Mr Earrings invitation; older, unknown, overly secretive men from Grindr are not welcome in my home.

     I can certainly commiserate with Mr Earrings' desperation to be in a relationship though. Not only was I head over heels with The Fiancée and absolutely ecstatic over the idea of being allowed to spend the rest of my life with her, there's a certain level of comfort and stability I felt from knowing how that part of my future would play out. Even at my age, I loved knowing I was going to be settling down and forging a new domestic life with the woman I loved. To lose that, in addition to the heartbreak, was deeply unsettling. To know that not many people would want to date a transguy, especially one who is still pre-everything, only exacerbated the feeling. Mr Earrings feels the same way; he wants to be wanted and loved and settle down with someone. That's why, he admitted, he regularly turns to trying to be with older men. I get that, I really, deeply do. Somehow, though, I doubt finding men nearly three decades your senior on a sketchy iPad app is the way to find your future husband...