Expansions and contractions are supposed to be effortless.
Like breathing.
Like the tide pulled and pushed by the moon.
Like my fingers spreading to grasp yours.
My heart effortlessly expanded to make room for you.
For your perfections, your flaws, your idiosyncrasies.
The way you drool on your pillow and never know what you're thinking.
For my soulmate, my other half, my perfect match.
My home expanded to squeeze you in.
A tiny space instead became cozy.
Filled to the brim but a perfect fit.
Inhabited by lovers and their cats.
My future grew in unbelievable ways,
Incorporating you into every turn.
My plans expanded into ours,
Our intertwined fates leading to happily ever after.
Some things are not meant to contract again.
Happily ever after could not shrink small enough for just me,
Dreams for our someday house were too large for one,
Minus my lover and our someday family.
Our home was not designed to have to
Dwindle down to just my lonely contours.
To have an empty space where your dresser lived,
With your half of our bed left empty.
My heart never learned how to contract.
Instead you have left gaping fissures where you used to fill me up.
The miles between my fingers longer still without
Yours there to bridge the gaps.
The same way that attempting to cut you out of pictures
Leaves a perfectly you-shaped crater in its wake,
My memory is the worst of all at returning to its original state.
How long before my you-shaped hole refills?
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