Why?

     I'm always curious about the motivations behind abusers' actions. I would make the argument that I don't necessarily fit in with most of them (I'm not denying that my actions were wrong, just that they have a different causation). I've never done it intentionally. I've never done it while I was in sound mind. I've never wanted to do it. Many times, with verbal and emotional abuse, I never realized I did it because I was so accustomed to being treated like that. I've been accused of enjoying it, of liking the control, of feeling powerful for doing it, and being an arrogant dick. I'm curious why others do it. Is it for those reasons? Different ones? Do they enjoy it? Do they mean to do it? Do they want to stop? Could they stop if they tried? I tried to stop for my entire relationship, and yet I never succeeded. I'd love to hear input from all of you guys on this, from either side, abuser or victim.

     Tying back into yesterday's post on prejudice, I'm curious what y'all's perception of it is, in regards to those who perpetuate domestic violence? Is our prejudice based on the common idea of what we think DV is? The strong man getting joy out of hurting a defenseless woman? Is our perception different when it's female on male? Any other combination of genders? Do people lack the same amount of sympathy when the victim finally fights back? Is it better or worse when the abuser loses control because of a mental illness they don't have power over? What do people think or feel when it's someone they know and respect and love who turns out to be an abuser? Like when Mama said that, after reading my first post and already having "known" and liked me, she really had to stop and think. Again, I lack answers and, as both a victim and an abuser, I lack the ability to analyze it at this point. I'd love to hear your opinions in the comments.