Imagine someone very close to you was violently mugged. They were terrified and physically injured, not to mention something precious to them had been stolen. When they told you, what would you say? That it's their own fault? That they shouldn't be telling people this because it's not appropriate? That it's so shameful that they were weak enough to let it happen to them? No, of course you wouldn't. You would have sympathy and possibly empathy towards them. You would hurt over your friend's pain. You may possibly feel anger towards the mugger. You would never think to blame someone for being a victim in this situation.
Yet, if I confide in someone that I was recently raped, I don't get that positive support. I get just those comments. I've been told I shouldn't be telling people this. That it's shameful. That I allowed it to happen. That talking about it so much is needless, and it should be hidden away. When people ask me why I've been so off at school this week, I shouldn't tell them the truth because it's too private.
For me, I don't think it's too private to talk about. I refuse to be ashamed that I am a rape victim. If someone asks me what is wrong, I see nothing wrong with telling them. I have been hurt in ways that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I refuse to further that hurt by hiding my pain and not talking to people about it. I refuse to abide by YOUR beliefs on what should be private and hidden and shameful because MY being raped makes you uncomfortable. I am entirely sick of victim blaming, and I refuse to let it control my path to healing.
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